One year has passed..

Whoa, one year has passed. I have felt very very bad the last year. I have been struggling so much and lots of things has happened:

• Death of two dear friends = lots of stress
• Tried out EMDR for trauma work = lots of stress
• Found a endocrinologist which I thought could help me, which instead turned into a fight when I started to ask questions (such a unprofessional doctor!) = lots of stress
• Found a naturopath who has found out I have Pyroluria = lots of relief that I finally know what's wrong with me, but stress regarding how to heal it
• Boyfriend moved in with me = lots of love but also a bit stressful when things in every day life changes and all this "who's going to do the dishes" yada yada and lots of old trauma coming up to life from previous relationships
• Found out for sure I am HSP; highly sensitive person. Trying to cope with that. Slowly feeling better regarding that. I am who I am <3 
• Found a new therapist in January who really shook things up in a good way. But as always, I get worse during summer. Mental health does not take vacation like the therapists do.. 
• Big re-organisation at work. Have had nothing really to do from August '18 until May '19
• Started a new job position! Very very glad in the beginning, then almost killing myself with bad and negative thoughts and stressing myself out. But! I am having the best colleagues and manager! <3
• New levels of fatigue :( 
• New levels of depression :( 
• As of today, starting the GAPS diet to heal my gut. Let's see how it goes!
• Still not a single comment on this blog :( Should I shut it down? 
• But hey! This is my first published photo on this blog: 

:) 

Apparently, I have endometriosis..

So. I have had major menstrual cramps lately. Something has not been right for some reason. It has just been this intense pain, nausea and issues I have never had before. This started some months ago.

Went to see my doctor today and he asked me tons of questions. Seems like I have endometriosis. He asked me if I know what that is. I have had my suspicions about that several years ago. Then I got contraceptive pills and the  issues connected to endometriosis went away (but other came instead). However, after quitting pills, I started seeing a doctor in Chinese medicine who stabilised my hormones. I stopped seeing him in june 2017, since my symptoms connected to low cortisol got worse and worse and he could not help me anymore. So around january 2018, my mensies pain started and the whole thing started behaving real strange.

So, another issue to my collection: endometriosis.
My doctor of course wanted to give me contraceptive pills again, or hormonal loop, but I told him I have tried hormones and they just mess with me. I gain weight like ***, I get depressed, my mucous membranes get dry like sand and so on..

He told me to just take painkillers then during period time. Guess I will try that..